need another drink. this is the easiest way
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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