I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.