Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b. http://tfl.nu/o2b7
  Replies (33) Good night (2323) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide. http://tfl.nu/8m3e
  Replies (6) Good night (4299) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on. http://tfl.nu/rma0
  Replies (21) Good night (6197) Bad night (1330) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus. http://tfl.nu/iii0
  Replies (15) Good night (1370) Bad night (5172) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces. (618): Disappointment? http://tfl.nu/lu72
  Replies (11) Good night (1313) Bad night (3940)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend. http://tfl.nu/xomb
  Replies (31) Good night (1011) Bad night (4963) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4318) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs http://tfl.nu/iwcs
  Replies (7) Good night (2285) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face

  (310): View more from California

  On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face (310): On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people? http://tfl.nu/ezwy
  Replies (6) Good night (1930) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam http://tfl.nu/m89k
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth http://tfl.nu/xkac
  Replies (17) Good night (1501) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me http://tfl.nu/3d09
  Replies (6) Good night (1079) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done http://tfl.nu/oq1m
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom..... http://tfl.nu/jt5r
  Replies (3) Good night (360) Bad night (240) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja
  Replies (12) Good night (985) Bad night (259)

Randomize