The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
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Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.