His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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