I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
