what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
