help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.