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shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
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