whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
