somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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