Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize