yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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