i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
