I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
