Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.