3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.