I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.