he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize