Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
