Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
