It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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