just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
