I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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