yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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