just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
