oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
