The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
