So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
