So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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