It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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