So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible