You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.