Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
