love makes seman taste better
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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