On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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