dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize