i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
