No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm passing your future prison.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize