I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.