I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.