feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.