I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!