Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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