i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize