He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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