apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people