were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.