Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.