i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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