lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize