Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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