i think i have two assholes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
