I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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