Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize