Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
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I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize