You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
