we have officially lost it.
from now on my penis is your penis
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
