I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
zippers are such a cool invention
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize