Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
