Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
